Figuring out the beautiful unworthiness.

Everything is by the grace of God
and it has happened in this way:
He took the unchecked heart in my chest –
the rock that hadn’t really breathed deeply –
He took it and kissed it,
all warmth and light
flowing endlessly from endless lips
that whispered holiness.
I was a submerged fortress,
the sunken battlegrounds of a long-fought war
for a trivially important soul.
And He was there
and He opened the dam,
releasing a salty ocean of
never-me and
Some unheard-of mercy bathed some unrighteous girl
in good truth that made her better
than she would have been.
And I should have earned it.
I should have died for mercy like that
but something made You want me.
I am a mess of a human,
like a worn-through slipper
or a burned-out candle.
I take hold of the universe like it belongs to me
and I think I can jerk the reins
I’ve thrown around You’re neck.
I am foolish with my heart
and I am proud and I am scared.
I throw dust onto the things I create
like I grew the ability in my own garden
and decided that this was the way I would
impact the world.
This was the thing that needed grace
and You gave it to me.
I am the bitter water flowing
from a broken cistern.
And this is all Him,
in all the ways.
This is grace that knows me
and wants me,
and that should be enough.
I am only shadows,
but You see me in the dull light.
Claimed by an untamed God.
Fed mercy from the hands of
There are no words that can describe it
and I can do nothing
but say it.


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